I Can Do This

I’m taking in that glorious morning cup of tea while checking emails and browsing the web for inspiration for the week. 

It’s always at this moment that I have this sudden spark of motivation. I grant myself superpowers and feel like I can do anything. A sense of realistic timelines fade. I do a mental checklist of my current to-do’s: a resume to update, a website to redesign, an invitation to create for my cousin’s wedding, running shoes to put to use, and a family portrait to frame from our last vacation. At the end of this thought, come all the question marks: When did we last wash our bed sheets? (pretty sure baby girl flung her bottle around this morning creating milk puddles everywhere); Do we have enough underwear to last us the week? Did we make plans with anyone this week that will require us to clean up (aka throw everything into the bedroom and shut the door) and make our place presentable? Is my ponytail getting stale with dry-shampoo? Is there such thing as too much dry shampoo?!

Somehow, I convince myself that I should be able to take care of most of these tasks today. Yes, it’ll be easy. Once I get going, I’ll knock things off the list quickly. WRONG. In this fantasy, I seem to be a stay-at-home mom with a full-time nanny and endless time to kill. In reality, I’m a 32 year old designer-wife-mom with a full-time job, doing the daily balance act. Life is good, my husband and baby are the absolute best, but the struggle is so real.

When I come down from my high, I realize its nearly 5:30pm and I haven’t even made a dent on that list. No problem, I’ll just be super productive tonight. WRONG again. Even though I always feel a sense of accomplishment after I’ve started the dishwasher, left the kitchen sparkling, packed Emma’s school bag with her bottles and diapers for tomorrow, set out her clothes for the morning… it’s not enough. When I’m finally free to do some work, I’m exhausted and rather binge-watch the latest on Netflix. SIGH.

Sheila Patel